Sharing is Caring: The Wedding Party

Admittedly, my bridesmaids have more to do than the normal bridal party. Even though I've made my peace with being a solo bride, the girls had to make their peace, too. They've done so without even a word of complaint (not to me, anyway ;) ) and I am forever grateful. They're awesome.

personal photo | Awesomeness on display: with Bridesmaids Y (left) and Blackout (right) on my birthday last year

But they aren't the sole embodiments of Awesomeness in the wedding party, folks. The guys are pretty fabulous, too. 

I think, for some couples, there's a clear division: the groomsmen are left up to the groom and the bridesmaids are left up to the bride. Easy peasy, you know? It wasn't like that with us. We have such a solid group of friends that it was kind of a shared decision. 

personal photo | I love this so much. From left to right: GM Y, GM Pythagoras, Best Man R, BM Blackout, BM Tiny Dancer, yours truly, BM Y and the Mister. (Missing: Rev Fun, BM Badonk, GM L, GM Dubstep and MOH Mem)

Marriage is the Real Deal, Folks

First and foremost, I want to make something clear: I am 110% about marrige equality. I have written countless papers, made countless presentations, posted endless articles on Facebook, participated in many discussions - you get the picture. This is not to say that I've done enough; in my opinion, we've not done enough until the issue is no longer. However, I am going to let the past Bees that have written so eloquently  (and President Obama, who spoke so eloquently) on this topic exist without my lengthy addition.

Moving on - the land from which Mr. Palm Tree and I hail is small (I've probably mentioned that 9094832908 times). Small in terms of mind, people and area. I've made no secret that I'm not a big fan of it and I try to distance myself from it as much as possible. I say this because I think (or maybe it's just that I hope) its all-around smallness contributes to the lack of seriousness, for lack of a better term, surrounding marriage.

source | Then again, instances like this exist and Kim Kardashian sure isn't from a small town fifty miles north of Pittsburgh, PA. 

Despite growing up with a really, really rocky (understatement) example of a marriage, I have always valued it. I have always known - or rather, held out hope for what it should be instead of what I saw. Sure, when I was younger I romanticized it (who doesn't?) but as I grew up I started to place importance on what I felt were the true touchstones of a good marriage: stability, trust, partnership, love, communication.

The Palm Trees Are Here!

Sorry for the lame title, folks: I'm just too excited to think straight and if left to their own devices, my fingers would type:

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was at work when I received my email from Mrs. Penguin so I could only squeal so much. I put my technological skillz to work, though, and started blowing people up the ways that I could: inter-office IM, GChat, email. "I'M A BEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" was pretty much the gist of it. I am so excited to be a part of this community and to share everything with you all.

Let's get the obvious out of the way, shall we: why Miss Palm Tree? Let's not lie, all of the icons are adorable, no matter which generation. In the interest of full disclosure, I had my eye on Miss Fairy from way back when, but it wasn't my time. When I saw the Honeymoon generation and first laid eyes on the Palm Tree, it was the end game. The be-all, end-all. I'm a beach and sun loving Pisces who was born in Las Vegas, palm trees all around her, currently living in the pine-and-other-green-tree land of Pittsburgh. Does it get any more 'meant to be' than that? ;) I love palm trees so much, in fact, that:

personal photo | Yes, folks, that is a Palm Tree on my ankle  (and yes, those are TOMS - more on those later, I promise!). Apologies for the sock indentations, dry skin and uggo carpet. This was taken in stealth mode at work. ;)

Mr. Palm Tree and I are kind-of high school sweethearts, with a little twist. The long and short of it is: girl moves with family into new town, across the street from boy. Girl's younger sister and boy's younger sister become best friends, girl has no girls her own age to play with so she follows the boys around, who hate her; boy teases girl relentlessly and makes her cry on a daily basis, girl doesn't give up and relentlessly continues to bug the boys.

Girl's family moves across town and years pass. Girl starts high school and starts running into boy, who is two years older, EVERYWHERE: hallways, lunch, before and after school. Boy eventually acknowledges girl, they become friends. Girl has Feelings and all but stalks boy, boy gives in and stops Girl in a hallway in May of 2004 to ask her to be his girlfriend.

The rest, folks, is History.

personal photo | Palm Trees at Mr. Palm Tree's senior prom in 2004

personal photo | Palm Trees at my senior prom in 2007

Mr. Palm Tree and I are Super Goobers. I'm talking Disney loving, karaoke singing, Time Warp dancing, nickname using, grocery shopping enthusiasts who are all about Pittsburgh (the best city EVER, of course), spending time with our friends and, of course, cats.

personal  photo| Three of our four kitties - the one in the middle is the Momma.

Individually, Mr. Palm Tree and I are almost completely different. I love to read, write and talk and he likes to fish, hunt and play video games. I have absolutely zero athletic skills and am one of the clumsiest people imaginable, while he is literally good at everything he does, pretty much from the first time he does it. His favorite character on 30 Rock is Tracy Jordan while I'm clearly such a Liz Lemon. ;) Together, though, we make a hilarious team that results in hours of laughter (both 'at' and 'with' us) and a whole lot of love.

We're planning a large wedding for approximately 200 guests in May, almost exactly nine years after the first question was popped in the hallway. Funnily enough, even though 200ish is large by today's standards, it's not by ours at all - we were pretty strict with our guest list. I wouldn't exactly call us low-budget, but we certainly aren't making it rain. Our wedding is turning out to be more 'traditional' than I would have predicted, but we're making it super personalized and putting little touches of 'us' all over the place. 

I am seriously over the freakin' moon to be a Bee, you guys. I cannot wait to start sharing the details of our wedding planning and I truly cannot wait to interact with you all. 

Photo from Limelight-Images | One of Mr. Palm Tree's and my engagement pictures

"We were on a break!"

Double whammy: I'm quoting Ross from Friends AND bringing up a relationship story. You see, folks, we really were on a break. For about a year. 

I mention it briefly in this post: Mr. Palm Tree and I were on a year-long break in college. This isn't really a pretty story. I look like - and was - kind of an ass. Although it all ended up well and even though I thoroughly believe that it was necessary, there are parts there were really messy. I could pretty it up, but that's dishonest and really, what's the point? It was what it was.

personal photo | Kind of cheating, this is right after we ended our break - Halloween 2009.

I had just started my sophomore year of college and I just felt different. Over the summer, I rented an apartment with a girl I knew from our freshman year and I just felt kind of. . .steady? For the first time, I felt like I could breathe. I know that sounds dramatic, but so much of my life was rocky and tumultuous - I finally felt like I was where I was supposed to be. I had a steady job, I loved college and what I was studying, I had great friends. I was in a good place.

So, naturally, I panicked. Sigh.

Paper Goodies! The Save the Date Process (photo heavy!)

Despite all of the b-e-a-utiful Save the Date inspiration I shared with you in the last post, we opted to go a completely different route.

I was browsing the DIY Boards and found this beauty by hive member Miss Q. She was kind enough to share the template with me at my request so I present to you my official Save-the-Date inspiration - as in, this is what we were originally set on:

from the lovely Hive member miss Q | edited a little to remove her personal information

I was in love with this idea. I believe she used it for a magnet, but I had visions of it in postcard form - of course, with our colors, our date, our information. 

Mr. Palm Tree and I are super lucky to have a family friend (actually, GM J's mom!) who offered to design and print our Save the Dates as a gift to us. She is co-owner of a fairly large printing company in our hometown and does this on the reg. This saved us a ridiculous amount of money and I cannot truly, accurately express my gratitude so I won't try. We sent a really heartfelt thank you and a gift card to her but she will forever be at the top of my Awesome People list. Moral of the Story: accept help when it's offered (something I'm still struggling to learn). 

Without recapping our gazillions of emails, I'm just going to let the pictures do the bulk of the explaining as I take you through our Save the Date process - the journey, if you will, from Point A (above) to Point B (our finished product):

Paper Goodies! Swooning over Save the Dates.

Like many brides before me, I am in love with paper goodies. True story: one of the best parts about being a peer tutor in college was ordering free office supplies from the catalog. I have always loved stationary, I have always loved mail, I just swoon over all of it. 

source | Mrs. Gray Wolf received some awesome personalized stationary as a gift at her shower. Jelly! 

Needless to say, I had been dreaming up save-the-date and invitation inspiration for foreva-eva. One thing was for certain: I wanted to use our engagement pictures. Let's drool together at some of the Beauties That Weren't, though:

source | Love the 'At Last' wording. It'd be super easy to match the rest of the paper goodies to this!

Advice from the Other Side

I currently hold down a part-time second job with a local catering company - we'll call it ABC Co. for the purposes of this post (so original, right?). ABC Co. is contracted for events throughout the city, even though it's exclusive to some main large venues.

I don't really have a title at this job - I kind of do everything. Set-up, tear-down, bartend, serve, clean, labor. . .the works. This company is fierce and I freaking love it.

I was really excited to start this job as a bride-to-be because I knew it'd allow to me to firsthand witness a ton of behind-the-scenes goodies. The planning, the execution, the delivery, all of it. This might sound a little Captain Obvious but folks, so.much.work goes into even a basic happy hour-styled networking event. Weddings, as you might imagine, are a whole other ballgame.

Maybe I'm the only one who borderline obsessively ponders the behind-the-scenes action? (Like, are they touching my food with their bare hands right now? Are they cursing me for my specific instructions or are they thanking me for being so thorough?), but working on the other side of events has provided me with a wealth of clarity and knowledge. Granted, I am event- and planning-minded, so I'm sure that helps keep my interest piqued. Also, prior to my first Big Girl job post-college, I had put in about 7 years of experience within the food service industry, so I'm sure that's a factor, too. Regardless, I figured it couldn't hurt to share a few tips. . .of course, these are my personal tips and in no way am I speaking on official behalf of ABC Co. and of course, every event, company, individual, etc. is different. These are just general things I've picked up on during my time as a Catering Assistant (has a nice ring to it, right?).

personal photo | I'm super proud of my skillz as a dessert arranger (another hat I wear at this job) so I'll show these pictures throughout the post. Although I do not bake the desserts, I work Ze Magic and get them to look this awesome. 

How We Plan a Wedding

True Confessions: there have been times throughout the wedding planning process that I may or may not have overlooked the Groom. I wouldn't say that Mr. Palm Tree isn't involved, just that he falls into more of a 'typical' category. I think this is for two reasons: one, because he knows how I am and knows that I am a control-freak and super decisive and it's just easier to let me Captain this ship and two, because he is so naturally easy-going and laidback. 

It's one of the things I love the most about him, one of the reasons why I really feel like we're puzzle pieces: we're both so incredibly different apart, but when you put us together, we just fit. Planning our wedding has really solidified this, but moreso, it has made me appreciate the understanding that we both have of and for one another.

personal photo | Palm Trees at the Sadie Hawkins Dance, circa 2004.

The Engagement Picture Reveal!

I apologize for the delay, but finally, after all of these posts, I'm ready to share some of our favorite engagement pictures. I say 'some' because our photographers provided us with over 150 of them, each edited with the full rights. It was hard to pick the best ones, but I think I was able to narrow it down sufficiently enough to give you all a solid idea of how our day went. I know I've already mentioned how awesome they are, so I'll try to refrain from squee'ing about them TOO much. :)

We're in love with our pictures and I think that's pretty clear - so let me abstain from over-wording everything as per usual and let the pictures speak for themselves. After all, that's what matters here, right?

ALL photos via the amazing, wonderful, faaaabulous Limelight-Images.

One of the 'serious' shots

Behind the Scenes: A Solo Bride

There is no better way to start this post than to just state the facts, clear and simple.

My parents are drug addicts. 

I’ve hinted at the fact that they aren’t involved in a few posts. I don’t want to say I've only hinted because it’s hard to discuss, because it’s not. It’s something I’ve had to live with for years and something that just is. I think it’s more because I didn’t know where to start. 

My parents were great when I was young. Right up until I was about ten, my sister and I lived a great life. . .maybe even spoiled. Without going into really lengthy details, it all just fell to pieces. And by ‘fell’ I mean crashed and by ‘pieces’ I mean shattered shards. 

Growing up, life was hectic. An absolute mess. I would pause every day on my porch before I walked in the door, mentally preparing myself for what could possibly be inside. Would they be fighting? Would they be passed out and incoherent? Would they be angry, mean and hurtful? Or worse, would they act like everything was okay? Would they be in good spirits, allowing my sister and I to experience a few hours’ worth of peace and pseudo-happiness? 

It was hard. I was hard: a really bitter person. I wasn’t necessarily outwardly ‘emo’ or ‘goth’ about things – I would smile and laugh, I had a lot of fun with the few friends that I did have, I would sing in the hallways and do stupid dances. I was just focused, I guess. I worked really hard in high school because I knew that was the only way out, but I made it very clear that I was over it and ready to move on and be and do better. I ran into someone I knew in high school at a local bar a few months ago and he was like, "you just look so much happier now." I said, "I was a big miserable bitch in high school, huh?" He laughed and responded, "I wasn't going to say it first, but yeah. I'm sure you can still be a bitch, but you don't LOOK like a bitch anymore. Does that make sense?" 

Which makes The Palm Trees' relationship all the more miraculous, if you ask me. Like I said in our Story of Us posts: you may remember that Mr. Palm Tree and I grew up across the street from one another. Aside from occasionally seeing each other whenever our sisters were being dropped off at one another’s houses, we didn’t interact much after we moved across town. My sister, however, would always go to their house when things were really bad at ours. You know how you always have that friend, who knows everything and is your escape? BM Badonk was that for my sister. 

The Little Details: Cake Toppers

True Confessions: I have ants in my pants. I'm antsy for time to keep marching on so I can do all of the things I cannot wait to do. I'm antsy for RSVP's to roll in and my bridal shower and other Wedding Season FUN. 

I've started to delve into some of the smaller details, things that I can totally accomplish and/or decide on now that won't affect anything else. I've started thinking about things like: Do my ladies need flowers, even the silk ones, especially if I myself am carrying a brooch bouquet? Can Pad and Pie scatter petals if there may not be flowers involved elsewhere? Can they scatter petals at our venue, period? I feel accomplished when I address things like this, because it's clearly ahead of time, and also because of how little stress is involved with mulling these things over because it's so ahead of time. It's a total win.

Lately, I've been on a Cake Topper kick. This is one of the small details that is totally back burnered. You know, those things that you place on the potential list, the ones that you want but aren't a priority? I refuse to stress about a cake topper, but it's still fun to peruse pictures and read blogs for inspiration.

source

My First Wedding Nightmare!!!!

Yes, those are exclamation marks up there and yes, they are expressing excitement. 

I'm a vivid and strange dreamer to begin with: I often realize when I'm dreaming, I can force myself to wake up from dreams, I can often return to a dream after I've awakened from it; I can always recall almost all of the details, I occasionally have random, mundane dreams that 'come true' in real life (no - for real. MOH Mem can attest to this), I have recurring dreams and after Inception, I started 'playing' with my dreams and trying to change them. 

source | Not quite on this level. . .yet. . .

So when I first read or heard about Wedding Nightmares, I knew I'd have quite a few. Par for the course with an overthinker like myself, really - and I was right. I had my first wedding nightmare about 8 months out from our wedding.

The Fun Stuff: Our Registry

I think the second thing we did after we got through celebrating/announcing our engagement was start our registry. We got engaged in late December and registered in early January.

I told you, folks: I don't mess around with this stuff. ;) Besides, we knew we were moving in April and thought that maybe it'd be better to let people know the stuff we need ahead of time, just in case they wanted to play the housewarming gift game (and play they did - I'll explain below).

We decided to register only at Bed, Bath and Beyond because of our guests. While there are multiple and easily accessible BB&B's in Pittsburgh, the closet one to our hometown (where a significant chunk of our guest list will be traveling from) is about 30-45 minutes away. . .in fact, every major store except for WalMart and Sears is about a 30-45 minute drive. We wanted to make it easy for our guests, especially the ones that would be going in on a gift. Plus, we're realistic: we live in Giant Eagle land, meaning that our guests have the option of purchasing gift cards and getting fuel perks (discount on gas, per gallon) in return. 

A lot of people say that BB&B is overwhelming, and I get that, but it's not for us. Although Mr . Palm Tree and I had never (for real) been to a Bed, Bath and Beyond before this trip (the closest thing we had to an experience was from Click, which of course we kept referencing and made sure to point out every remote we came across and make a scary face), we fell in LOVE. We're big one-stop people; it's why we love WalMart so much. Neither of us cares to beebop all around to find things, we much prefer finding a place we like that has almost everything we need and making One Big Trip - and anyone who has been to BB&B can attest to the fact that they for real have everything.