Sharing is Caring: The Wedding Party

Admittedly, my bridesmaids have more to do than the normal bridal party. Even though I've made my peace with being a solo bride, the girls had to make their peace, too. They've done so without even a word of complaint (not to me, anyway ;) ) and I am forever grateful. They're awesome.

personal photo | Awesomeness on display: with Bridesmaids Y (left) and Blackout (right) on my birthday last year

But they aren't the sole embodiments of Awesomeness in the wedding party, folks. The guys are pretty fabulous, too. 

I think, for some couples, there's a clear division: the groomsmen are left up to the groom and the bridesmaids are left up to the bride. Easy peasy, you know? It wasn't like that with us. We have such a solid group of friends that it was kind of a shared decision. 

personal photo | I love this so much. From left to right: GM Y, GM Pythagoras, Best Man R, BM Blackout, BM Tiny Dancer, yours truly, BM Y and the Mister. (Missing: Rev Fun, BM Badonk, GM L, GM Dubstep and MOH Mem)

We are a really cohesive group. We all just work together and we work in mini-groups and pairs and threesomes and whatever else, as well. 

A lot of girls are able to claim guys as their BFFs and I seriously think that's great. I'm definitely, without a doubt, one of these girls. In fact, recently a few of us had a discussion regarding where the individual members of the wedding party would sit, if they were guests. There were more than a few gray areas.

Our Best Man has been as much as of a big part in my life as he's been in Mr. Palm Tree's. They met in college, their freshman year, and lived together their sophomore year. I visited  Mr. PT really frequently during this time and as a result, became close with their "group" (which included BM Blackout, who was their neighbor). My freshman year, I lived in the same part of town as the Best Man while Mr. PT was in our hometown for a semester and I practically lived at his house. I would take my laundry over every Sunday, I would spend nights there, we'd go to lunch and dinner together. I had a weird time adjusting to college and so I clung to him, in Mr. PT's absence. Let me tell you, folks: I am a Stage 5. This was not easy for Best Man R, but here we are, still BFFs today.

personal photo | The timestamp lies, this was Spring Break '09 in Panama City Beach. BM R and I often joke that we cannot take a good picture together to save our lives. 

GM Pythagoras is another one of my all-time best friends. He and Mr. PT graduated together and the two of us grew really, really close their senior year of college. He's been another steady source of friendship in my life, one of those "there when everyone else walked out" people. He's also my go-to karaoke partner and my movie date.

personal photo | There are a gazillion pictures like this. Seriously. This was "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart", one of the gazillion songs in our repertoire. 

I have my own friendships with the other guys, too. GM Y and I work together and have a lot of inside jokes. He knows that I'm The Planner and he knows how to appeal to me. He also knows that I like to have the Inside Scoop and knows how to include me in things, especially when they come to his fiancee, BM Y. We're tight like that. GM L gives me his shoes when we go out and I stubbornly wear heels or other uncomfortable shoes (yup, despite everything I've mentioned, every once in a while I'll get a burst of 'I CAN DO THIS!' and then I pay for it dearly) - I mean, he literally gives me his shoes. GM Dubstep is Mr. PT's longtime friend, we grew up together and the two of them have endless stories of how they used to gang up on me. They wrote a song once about a pet of mine that died called "Ricky Got Hit By A Semi-Truck". True story.

It's not just my relationships with the men that have their own meaning. Oh, no. Mr. PT has a "one of the girls" story for each "one of the guys" story that I have.

personal photo | Yup, that's Mr. Palm Tree getting low with MOH Mem and BM Tiny Dancer.

Mr. PT is kind of like the go-to guy in our group. I think partly because he's so incredibly laidback and easygoing and partly because he likes to have fun, so he'll do almost anything. You want to dance? Grab Mr. Palm Tree. Need a karaoke partner? Grab Mr. Palm Tree. Leftovers that you don't feel like boxing up? Give them to Mr. Palm Tree. Need someone to carry something? Hand it to Mr. Palm Tree. You picking up what I'm throwing down, Hive?

MOH Mem likes say she knew that she and Mr. Palm Tree had their own friendship this one night in college: we had been hanging out, eating pizza and watching TV, when she had to leave for another, ahem, engagement. Mr. PT gave her a ride and when he dropped her off, he said, "you know, if you want to leave later or if you don't feel comfortable walking around or whatever, just give me a call. I'll come get you." 

personal photo | Mr. Palm Tree, MOH Mem and BM Y.

Truthfully, I'm so freaking glad our little group is like this. It makes the whole experience that much better. I mean, we already love each other so much; friendships are already established, we see each other on a regular basis - even the love for BM Badonk and Rev. Fun, who live out of town, is solidified because we celebrate like crazy when they do come in and we have a chance to REALLY all be together. 

I know that some couples like to keep their friends and their lives separate and that's fine. I also know that some couples have to really put a lot of effort into carefully choosing their wedding party. For us, though, it was an absolute shared and easy decision: let's involve our friends. Let's get our group together and make the most awesome wedding party ever (just kidding) (but for real). We're lucky to have such a tight-knit, all-in group of amazing people and I can't imagine going through any step of this without any of them.

Does anyone else have shared friends with your significant other? What about the opposite: anyone have a clear division? How did you choose who would be in your wedding party?