Advice from a Married Lady

I'm sorry to keep you all waiting, Hive - I pinky promise that recaps are coming, I'm just waiting on all of my ducks to be in a super straight and organized row before we go Live. 

In the meantime, though, I wanted to share with you all some reflections that I think would be helpful to those of you in the planning stages. There are so many decisions that go into making a wedding freaking happen, it's so easy for some to get lost in between the cracks, some to be forgotten, some to be rushed into, some to never have been thought of, some that standout as amazing. . .so on and so forth.

I guess I should technically throw in a Spoiler Alert! here, since I'll be discussing specific details of our day - feel free to bookmark and read it post-recaps. As I mentioned above, I just wanted to make sure to share these things with those of you still planning, in the hopes that it may help you all with your own decisions.

Amazing Decision: Having a Day-of-Coordinator

I wrote about why we decided to enlist the help of DOC/Friend E pre-wedding and guys, it remains one of the best decisions I could have made post-wedding. 

photo via Limelight-Images | DOC E giving me a hug as she's dropping me off for  our First Look

I cannot truly stress how abso-freakin'-lutely AMAZING it was to having someone who would take care of everything. I really do mean everything. There was another event in the space where our Rehearsal Dinner was being held, so we had two wanderers make their way down to us at the beginning of the evening. I had just begun to call out to BM Tiny Dancer, who was standing near them, so that she could explain that this was a private event, but DOC E - who was across the room - simply said, "I got it!" And she did. On our wedding day, she went to get us all coffee and breakfast. Later, there was a small miscommunication with our photographer regarding times and activities and she handled it all - even when our photographer asked to speak with me specifically, she politely explained that she had already spoken to me and that she was the one to speak with for the day. Prior to the ceremony, she was perfect about getting me up to the bridal suite before our guests started to arrive. I cannot really sing enough of her praises. 

If you're on the fence about having a DOC, I HIGHLY recommend it. It was so wonderful to awaken in the morning and think, "someone else is going to keep us on schedule. Someone else is going to answer the phone. From this point forward, I have one role and that is: Bride." It was so wonderful to be able to exist in the moment during our First Look and our pictures, knowing that DOC/Friend E was handling all of the set-up and organization at the venue. GM Pythagoras and I were speaking post-wedding and he said simply, "As far as I'm concerned, DOC E is a saint." Totally concur.

Something I Wish I Had Done Differently: Be More Realistic About Timing

Mr. Palm Tree and I had every intention of getting to every table post-dinner, pre-festivities and dancing. We  scarfed down our food, barely spoke to anyone, made only one trip to the buffet. . .and we really didn't even finish one full side. About halfway through the one side, our DJ came up to us and asked us to speed it along, people were getting bored/antsy, etc. I was bound and determined, though, so I told him I'd pick up the pace but we HAD to make it to the other tables. Our DJ visited us again, saying we had to get started. . .if we didn't cut the cake, the staff wouldn't have been able to serve it, we had to open the dance floor, etc. I, of course, knew all of this, but was so disappointed that we didn't visit every table. 

We cut the cake, has our First Dance and the Generation Dance, visited the bar and got semi-swarmed, then ran over to the other side of the room to greet people. Meanwhile, the dance floor opened. We spent about another half hour trying to visit everyone - yet, there are still people I didn't see/barely saw and our friends say that the DJ played so many good songs and they kept thinking, "where are Mr. and Mrs. Palm Tree?!" Our DJ had infinite patience, he kept trying and coming to me saying that the dance floor needed us, but I had such an idea in my head about visiting everyone.

And you know what happened? Mr. PT and I got separated at some point (I think it's when some of the little girls came up and asked me to visit our photobooth with them) and I spent at least 45 minutes away from the dance floor. Plus, by the time Mr. PT and I had made it to the other side of the floor, the dance floor had opened up so people were already up and milling about (and, you know, dancing) so we completely missed them. I don't really have regrets, so to speak, about our wedding because it was phenomenal and so much fun - but if I were to pin one thing down and put a sad face on it, this would be it. In retrospect, I wish that we would have just remained at our table with our friends and maybe let people come to us after eating. Or perhaps even have gotten started on everything earlier, so that the dance floor could have been open earlier, therefore giving more overall visit and have fun time. Regardless, my advice on this aspect would be to simply be realistic. I know that many people have made it to every table, but with 187 guests and 22 tables, it just wasn't possible for us. I wish that we could have spent more time with everyone on the dance floor, or in the Photobooth, or at the bar area - not so separated from people, trying to wade through others to visit. We did get to talk to everyone, one way or another, so that's a plus - I just wish I hadn't felt so strongly about this on the actual night. Live and learn from me, Hive! 

Random Tidbits

• Take advantage of the fun things you arranged for your wedding! Our Photobooth was a HUGE hit but I visited it about five times and Mr. Palm Tree and I had to RUN to it at the end of the evening. Make efforts to take a gazillion silly photos with you and whomever else you desire - especially since those are the photos you get immediately. I also didn't have a SINGLE cookie from our cookie table, which should be a crime.
• Wear comfortable shoes. Seriously, it looked like a foot massacre around our ballroom - shoes everywhere. But not my TOMS. 

photo by Limelight-Images 

• Be super, super mindful of everything that you do the week before the wedding. Why do I say this? Oh, because BM Tiny Dancer, Rev. Fun, MOH Mem and I went to a baseball game the Sunday before the wedding. The weather was gorgeous, which was great for tailgating and fun-having, but not so much for tank-top tan lines. Oh, Lordy, just wait until you see these pictures. I mean, I was oblivious, I never would have thought that being in the sun for a few hours almost a week before our wedding would, you know, affect the wedding - but it sure did. Mrs. Fox had a similar issue prior to her wedding. Again I say, live and learn from us!
• So many Bees have said this prior to me that I won't harp on it, but if you have photographs that you really want, make a list. And have ZERO qualms about providing it to your photographer(s). It was so helpful, especially for all of the solo shots and unique, inside-joke-esque shots that I wanted and may have forgotten. Both of our photographers were great about referencing the list and we got pretty much every shot I requested (resulting in over 1,000 pictures. For real).

I'm sure more advice and tidbits will leak out in the recaps, I just felt like these were priority pieces of information. Again, our wedding was fantastic and something I will always have fond feelings about and my sincere wish is for every bride to feel this way about her day.