Behind The Scenes: A Life of a Vendor

Quite a while ago, I wrote a post about what it's like to be on the vendor side of the fence when it comes to wedding planning and executing. Since that time, my career path has changed pretty drastically. I am now a full-time Wedding and Event Coordinator for a local catering company. The account that the company is contracted for is one of the larger colleges in the Pittsburgh area and the venue at the college holds between 50-70 weddings a year. If you're thinking, "but there are only fifty-two weeks in a year, you dope," I am here to tell you that Friday and Sunday weddings are definitely A Thing in this region. 

I love my job and it's kind of a dream come true for me. When my friends will ask me what all my job entails, my short, jokey answer is, "I plan shit and tell people what to do." The response is almost always, "that is perfect for you." It wasn't until fairly recently though, through communication with BM Y, that it hit me: I'm a vendor. 

Since that thought took place, I've been sort of writing this post in my head. I thought that it might be helpful for those in the planning stages to have a sort of behind-the-scenes glimpse into what a vendor does for your wedding. Mr. Palm Tree consistently comments that he would never think to inquire about so many of the things that I handle on a daily basis, but he would expect them to be done. 

The Final Countdown

Please enjoy the musical stylings of Europe, provided for your reading pleasure. ;)

Hive, I'm in the final stretch. I have gone from counting a year and some months, to just months, to weeks, to DAYS. Single digit days at that. 

In the interest of full disclosure, I have been a little bit crazier than usual (which is saying something - I'm kind of bananas). There has been so much going on lately that hasn't even been wedding-related. I've been working like crazy, there have been a lot of personal happenings and just general stuff. Granted, it's helped the time fly, for which I am grateful, but it's also found me in a weird place.

I've been so scatterbrained and, well, blonde lately. For instance, I was working an event earlier this week and had to park both my car and the catering van in a parking garage. I lost both vehicles. . .and by 'lost' I mean that I walked the entire seven or so floors of the garage looking for both of them, only to find them both on the first and second levels. I've been unable to focus lately and have caught myself staring off into space or having completely blank moments. It's so unlike me.

Daydreaming: The Palm Tree Wedding That Wasn't

I love everything about our wedding - really and truly. I'm in love with our colors and their meaning; I'm all about my girls and their get-ups (both bridesmaids AND flower girls); I think my dress is so dreamy and perfect for me, even though it's not what I thought I wanted; our invitations are very fitting and of course, I'm a HUGE fan of our venue, our photographers and all of the other vendors playing a role in this shindig.

There are some weddings, though, that I stalk see and they just make me swoon. I mean, get out the smelling salts, I might utter 'I do declare' and flutter my eyelashes, someone catch me before I hit the floor straight-up swoon. So, with under a month to go (eepies!), of course I find myself Pinteresting in a completely different direction. . .I'm sure some psychology-based folk would be able to chalk this up to some subconscious desire or something, but I'm just going to stick with the fact that I've always been a dreamer and a thinker and I'd be doing this regardless. ;)

So, Hive, without further ado: this is the story of The Palm Tree Wedding That Wasn't.

Why We're Having a Day of Coordinator

When I first started planning our wedding, the idea of a DOC was so foreign to me. Is this not a wedding planner? Wait, this person swoops in and just does everything on the wedding day? How does this person know everything? I was so confused - I mean, really, all I thought of was J.Lo in The Wedding Planner.

via The Wedding Planner Wikipedia page | "Those who can't wed, plan." Amirite? 

I was very much convinced that it was unnecessary for us. I am way, way, way, WAY too OCD and Type A to hand the reins to someone else. I didn't care if we worked with this person all throughout our planning, it just wasn't happening - I could never trust this person to remember how to do A, make sure B got done and not to forget where C was supposed to go, you know? Not for me, not for us, not for our wedding. Pass.

I'm sure you've all figured out where this is going - just like with my dress and the Bridesmaids dresses, I was wrong (I've probably said that more times blogging than in real life. Feel special, Hive ;) ). 

Paper Goodies! The Save the Date Process (photo heavy!)

Despite all of the b-e-a-utiful Save the Date inspiration I shared with you in the last post, we opted to go a completely different route.

I was browsing the DIY Boards and found this beauty by hive member Miss Q. She was kind enough to share the template with me at my request so I present to you my official Save-the-Date inspiration - as in, this is what we were originally set on:

from the lovely Hive member miss Q | edited a little to remove her personal information

I was in love with this idea. I believe she used it for a magnet, but I had visions of it in postcard form - of course, with our colors, our date, our information. 

Mr. Palm Tree and I are super lucky to have a family friend (actually, GM J's mom!) who offered to design and print our Save the Dates as a gift to us. She is co-owner of a fairly large printing company in our hometown and does this on the reg. This saved us a ridiculous amount of money and I cannot truly, accurately express my gratitude so I won't try. We sent a really heartfelt thank you and a gift card to her but she will forever be at the top of my Awesome People list. Moral of the Story: accept help when it's offered (something I'm still struggling to learn). 

Without recapping our gazillions of emails, I'm just going to let the pictures do the bulk of the explaining as I take you through our Save the Date process - the journey, if you will, from Point A (above) to Point B (our finished product):

Advice from the Other Side

I currently hold down a part-time second job with a local catering company - we'll call it ABC Co. for the purposes of this post (so original, right?). ABC Co. is contracted for events throughout the city, even though it's exclusive to some main large venues.

I don't really have a title at this job - I kind of do everything. Set-up, tear-down, bartend, serve, clean, labor. . .the works. This company is fierce and I freaking love it.

I was really excited to start this job as a bride-to-be because I knew it'd allow to me to firsthand witness a ton of behind-the-scenes goodies. The planning, the execution, the delivery, all of it. This might sound a little Captain Obvious but folks, so.much.work goes into even a basic happy hour-styled networking event. Weddings, as you might imagine, are a whole other ballgame.

Maybe I'm the only one who borderline obsessively ponders the behind-the-scenes action? (Like, are they touching my food with their bare hands right now? Are they cursing me for my specific instructions or are they thanking me for being so thorough?), but working on the other side of events has provided me with a wealth of clarity and knowledge. Granted, I am event- and planning-minded, so I'm sure that helps keep my interest piqued. Also, prior to my first Big Girl job post-college, I had put in about 7 years of experience within the food service industry, so I'm sure that's a factor, too. Regardless, I figured it couldn't hurt to share a few tips. . .of course, these are my personal tips and in no way am I speaking on official behalf of ABC Co. and of course, every event, company, individual, etc. is different. These are just general things I've picked up on during my time as a Catering Assistant (has a nice ring to it, right?).

personal photo | I'm super proud of my skillz as a dessert arranger (another hat I wear at this job) so I'll show these pictures throughout the post. Although I do not bake the desserts, I work Ze Magic and get them to look this awesome. 

How We Plan a Wedding

True Confessions: there have been times throughout the wedding planning process that I may or may not have overlooked the Groom. I wouldn't say that Mr. Palm Tree isn't involved, just that he falls into more of a 'typical' category. I think this is for two reasons: one, because he knows how I am and knows that I am a control-freak and super decisive and it's just easier to let me Captain this ship and two, because he is so naturally easy-going and laidback. 

It's one of the things I love the most about him, one of the reasons why I really feel like we're puzzle pieces: we're both so incredibly different apart, but when you put us together, we just fit. Planning our wedding has really solidified this, but moreso, it has made me appreciate the understanding that we both have of and for one another.

personal photo | Palm Trees at the Sadie Hawkins Dance, circa 2004.

Behind the Scenes: A Solo Bride

There is no better way to start this post than to just state the facts, clear and simple.

My parents are drug addicts. 

I’ve hinted at the fact that they aren’t involved in a few posts. I don’t want to say I've only hinted because it’s hard to discuss, because it’s not. It’s something I’ve had to live with for years and something that just is. I think it’s more because I didn’t know where to start. 

My parents were great when I was young. Right up until I was about ten, my sister and I lived a great life. . .maybe even spoiled. Without going into really lengthy details, it all just fell to pieces. And by ‘fell’ I mean crashed and by ‘pieces’ I mean shattered shards. 

Growing up, life was hectic. An absolute mess. I would pause every day on my porch before I walked in the door, mentally preparing myself for what could possibly be inside. Would they be fighting? Would they be passed out and incoherent? Would they be angry, mean and hurtful? Or worse, would they act like everything was okay? Would they be in good spirits, allowing my sister and I to experience a few hours’ worth of peace and pseudo-happiness? 

It was hard. I was hard: a really bitter person. I wasn’t necessarily outwardly ‘emo’ or ‘goth’ about things – I would smile and laugh, I had a lot of fun with the few friends that I did have, I would sing in the hallways and do stupid dances. I was just focused, I guess. I worked really hard in high school because I knew that was the only way out, but I made it very clear that I was over it and ready to move on and be and do better. I ran into someone I knew in high school at a local bar a few months ago and he was like, "you just look so much happier now." I said, "I was a big miserable bitch in high school, huh?" He laughed and responded, "I wasn't going to say it first, but yeah. I'm sure you can still be a bitch, but you don't LOOK like a bitch anymore. Does that make sense?" 

Which makes The Palm Trees' relationship all the more miraculous, if you ask me. Like I said in our Story of Us posts: you may remember that Mr. Palm Tree and I grew up across the street from one another. Aside from occasionally seeing each other whenever our sisters were being dropped off at one another’s houses, we didn’t interact much after we moved across town. My sister, however, would always go to their house when things were really bad at ours. You know how you always have that friend, who knows everything and is your escape? BM Badonk was that for my sister. 

Being a Bride on a Budget

When Mr. Palm Tree and I first decided to get married, we briefly discussed the money aspect. I say 'briefly' because it wasn't really a new topic: we essentially applied the same theory to our wedding planning that we try to apply to daily life: be as reasonable as possible because we, quite simply, do not have a lot of money.

The idea of setting a legitimate budget for a wedding has always intrigued me. I read about girls and couples who have a hard budget of insert amount here - we'll go with $25,000 for the purpose of this post. How in the freaking world do people HAVE $25,000 set aside to spend on a singular event? It makes me do the cartoon head-shake thing.

source | Fun Tidbit: The Palm Trees are totally My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic FANATICS. 

Our Wedding Colors

Our wedding is big on 'meaning'. There are a lot of things that are really special to us and we want to incorporate them in our Big Day. Mr. Palm Tree said it best when discussing Pad and Pie, our Flower Girls: "Our wedding is going to be so meaningful. Rev Fun officiating us and Pad and Pie being the flower girls. . .it's going to be really full of love."

I know, I know, gag you with a spoon, right?

Needless to say, though, our wedding colors would also fit with us. I know there are a lot of really pretty color themes that are 'in' right now: 

image via TheKnot | Really bright, popping colors

image via Bridal Canvas | the awesome peacock trend

image via TheKnot | Soft, pretty hues

Picspiration for the EPic Session

I've sung the praises of our wonderful photographers, Limelight-Images, so loudly that your ears are probably bleeding, so I'll try my hardest to refrain from doing so in this post. . .it's just so hard, when they're so awesome.

I mentioned before: I'm huge on pictures. I've already started a list of 'Must Haves' for our wedding day, including the 'jump shot' and the 'carry shot'.

via Limelight-Images | The vice-versa will also happen - I'm all for equality ;)

via Limelight-Images | Fun Fact: When we moved into our new place, I had BM Y & GM Pythagoras practice this shot with me.

As far as a list of 'Must-Haves', they focused on the city. Pittsburgh is so picture-esque, I wanted to make sure we caught the bridges, the stadiums, the river, the skyline. For the two of us, it was actually more of a list of 'Capture These Feelings With These Awesome Things In The Background'. I'm not saying I want this to be a Pittsburgh photo session with us as the props; more that I want both the city and us to be captured brilliantly, because we're both such a big part of each other. . .you know, Pittsburgh wouldn't survive without us, obviously. ;)

What I Cannot WAIT To Do

I went to a Happy Hour recently with some of my co-workers and friends, including Bridesmaid Blackout, Groomsman Y, Mr. Palm Tree and a couple who just got married. They were leaving for their honeymoon in Mexico the next morning. The new Mrs. was joking with me and telling me how insane I'm going to be once invitations go out, because you're so dependent on other people. I told her that her Groom often jokes with me that during the last few months of our planning, Mr. PT is welcome to stay at their place, to ensure the sanity of all involved (har-dee-har-har). 

At some point or another during the conversation I exclaimed, "oh, there is so much I wish I could do right NOW!" Her eyes widened and she laughed at me, asking what I could possibly be excited about since a lot of the big ticket items (shoes, dress, venue - just a few examples) are locked and loaded.

The Hairy Scary Monster: Part Uno (Potential TMI!)

You know that episode of Full House where Stephanie tries to scare Michelle by referring to the haaaaairy scaaaaaary monster? You know, the one that scares the Cookie Monster?

source | This has nothing to do with anything, except that it came up on a  Google search and made me laugh.

Well. . .I'm not talking about him.

I am talking about the one that lies, often (well. . .hopefully often. . .) hidden on all of us. You know, the hairy scary monster that lives *whispers* down there (insert suggestive eyebrow and knowing look here). 

Here's the deal, friends. I'm not going to pretend to know how all lady bits work OR the preferences of every said lady who reads this blog. I am, however, going to venture into potential TMI territory that every bride thinks about at least one hundred thousand times once. Fair warning.

The Lulls of a Long Engagement

I have been harping about the advantages of early planning - so much so that I'm sure even the mention of the word 'planning' causes an eye or two to automatically roll.

Well, I'm here to tell you, readers (all 6 or so of you. . .ahem) that there is in fact a con to every pro, what goes up must come down, a gray cloud for every silver lining. . .

I know, that sounds ridiculously negative and very 'say whaaaaat?!' inspiring. I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer, really. . . but the truth is: planning a wedding in advance can cause some pretty steep downfalls.

In my experience (I know this won't be the case for everyone, it all depends on the situation and the individuals), it was kind of hard having such a 'long' engagement. Almost exactly one and a half years. It was so exciting to be able to get things DONE early. Let's make decisions! Let's book venues and vendors!

After those first few big steps, though, it really starts to feel like not much cannot be done for a very, very, what I classify in my mind as: verrrrrrrrrrry-verrrrrrrrrrry-freaking-far-awayyyyyyyy long time. I mean, we had to wait for our engagement pictures, wait to buy gifts for the wedding party, wait to get excited about the bridal shower - I started to feel like everything required a waiting period. For someone who is already incredibly impatient, this was infuriating.

My First DIY Adventure: Puzzle Piece Fail Whale

I started out with a theme idea, and it was put to bed. I started out with a favor idea after I accepted a new theme idea (or lack thereof, really), and it was slowly but surely dying as well. I was beginning to wonder if I should just set out bags of Jordan almonds and call it a day. . .

After my fairly melodramatic e-mail to Bridesmaid Y, she responded (like a true BM should, in my opinion) with: “Don’t let the idea die yet!” As the day went on, amidst our normal gossip and such (you wouldn’t think two people who talk 984907834098 times a day and see each other at least once a week would still have things to say to each other, but we really don't ever stop), we would bounce ideas back and forth off of one another, but nothing would stick. 

On my lunch, I was multi-tasking, like I do best, by shoving food in my mouth and plowing through wedding websites. I returned to Google and found the originally discarded puzzle pieces again, so I went to that website for a second look. I noticed, perhaps a tiny bit ashamedly, for the first time, the two arrows and ‘6 of 8’ caught my eye. 

image via Hobby Lobby website | The 'DUH, self' editing all me, thanks to MSPaint. Just to clarify. 

I furiously clicked the arrow and VOILA (for real this time)!

image via Hobby Lobby website | FREAKING. WOODEN. PUZZLE. PIECES. I found them! 

There aren't really appropriate words, just a lot of !!!!!!!!!!!!! I immediately e-mailed Bridesmaid Y, completely in caps, about these puzzle pieces and my idea to stick a magnet on the back. Hello, place card setting favor, I have been searching for you for ohsolong.

The First Decision: Our Venue!

I may have lied. . .it's not TECHNICALLY the first decision. I mean, it's the first decision we've paid for, so that should count as the first decision, right?

True Confessions, hive: I've been planning this wedding for years. Mr. Palm Tree and I were together for almost eight years before we got engaged. I've had visions for forever. I used to joke that the engagement just meant I could move things into the execution stage, because almost everything was planned. 

Because of this, decisions came kind of easy-ish to us. We were able to make decisions regarding our DJ and our photographer, but we didn't 'officially' book either of them immediately. We were really hoping that this particular venue came through, because we had found it and LOVED it, but didn't want to start making decisions in case it didn't come through and we had to adjust our date. . .spoiler alert: THE VENUE DID COME THROUGH!

When Mr. Palm Tree first proposed, we just "tentatively" agreed on May 25, 2013 as the date. We started dating in May all those years ago (May 27, 2004, to be exact) and figured we'll just keep it as close to the same date as possible. We could be flexible if needed, but wanted to just go with that and see what we could find. As far as venues went, we knew we wanted to get married in Pittsburgh - or as close to Pittsburgh as possible.

A bit of background information: we grew up in a very small town, about an hour north of Pittsburgh. I speak from experience when I say that there's a 98% change that ANY 'large' event (like weddings and graduation parties) took place at one of many fairly typical banquet halls. They were all buffet-style (to clarify: DELICIOUS Italian buffet-style, like oodles of homemade pasta and chicken and mmmm) and they all followed a similar style: dollar dance, cake walk, bridal party dance, COOKIE TABLE VISITS!, etc. (here's a really great article explaining the cookie table phenom, if you're unfamiliar. It was only this year that I realized this wasn't standard across the board). As much as we've loved our experiences, we didn't want this wedding.**

However, one bonus to these weddings in our old neck of the woods is that they're cheapola. The Pittsburgh area in general has an uber-low cost of living, but our hometown takes the cake (ha). So as I started looking around at various venues in the area, I was having heart palpitations. First of all, WHAT DO YOU MEAN we cannot bring in our own food?! This news turned me Southern, hive. I may or may not have said "well, I NEVER!" and fanned myself. I am so used to family members making the food! I was floored. Second of all, WHAT DO YOU MEAN the $10,000 price tag is just for the space? No tables, no chairs, no food, say whaaa? Or, I'd fall in love with a reasonably priced and/or gorgeous place (Morning Glory Inn, in the South Side, for example) and they'd only hold a number far less than our estimated 200 guests. I kept clicking though, and voila! THE FEZ.

photo from The Fez | The Fez's Facebook page | A shot of the Balconade Room, set up for a wedding this past June.

I won't say 'I told you so'. . .

I mentioned how I'm super crazy with the pre-planning, right? 

I may or may not have also mentioned that I get a lot of lighthearted-but-completely-serious-in-sentiment comments akin to "that shit cray" when I mention that I want to start my favors and see what they look like, or that I have certain things booked. But, friends, I am not alone. Take it from Mrs. Sparkler over at Wedding Bee. . . 

An excerpt:

Pre-Planning - Or: Everything I know, I learned from the Baby Sitter's Club

It’s always said that all little girls practice being brides by putting pillowcases and other lacy things over their heads and saying “I do”.

One of my favorite parts of a Baby Sitter’s Club (honestly, I think I’m just overcome with growing-up-nostalgia, because I have been relating EVERYTHING to the BSC** lately. It really did set a solid foundation for so much in my life, and if you read the books and say you didn’t want to start a literal baby sitting club when you were a kid, you’re a liar. Period) book is when they’re running the BSC camp for the week leading up to Elizabeth Thomas (Kristy’s mom) and Watson Brewer’s wedding.

source | Kristy's Big Day, July 1987 (WHOA!) **